More Bible Jokes and Humor
A Mother was teaching her 3 year old, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the Mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The Mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right to the end. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail." A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic: "Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God." The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates: "Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence. "Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute silence. "Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!" A small child was sitting in her mother's lap and they were looking at a magazine together. When they came across a picture of Jesus, her mother asked, "Do you know who that is?" "Yes," the young child said matter-of-factly, "He goes to our church." A confirmation student was asked to list the Ten Commandments in any order. He wrote, "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7."
Children in one Sunday School class were asked to write "Life Lessons" that they had learned. Here are some of the responses: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 4-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. 7) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 8) Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac. 9) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 10) School lunches stick to the wall. 11) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 12) Don't wear polka dot underwear under white shorts. -----------------------------------------------------------------
Bible Jokes Page One
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